Post by razzyjazzy on Mar 20, 2006 18:42:27 GMT -5
A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.
What type of animal has more hands than feet?
-Why a horse of course
How long should a horses legs be?
-Long enough to reach the ground
where do horses stay in a hotel?
-In the bridal suit
When do vampires like horseback riding
-When its neck and neck
There was a famous jockey that never lost a race. When asked how he achieved this, he replied, I whisper in the horse's ear: Roses are red, violets are blue. Horses that lose are made into glue.
^Sad and mean!!!
What does it mean if you find a horse shoe?
-some poor horse is walking around in his socks
What breed of horse can jump higher than a house?
-all breeds…houses don’t jump.
A man rode out to town on June 3rd, stayed a week and left on june 3rd. How is this possible?
-His horses name was “june 3rd”
An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny. The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the man's car bumper. Then he yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull." Benny didn't move. Then he yelled, "Come on, pull Ranger." Still, Benny didn't move. Then he yelled really loud, "Now pull, Fred, pull hard." Benny just stood. Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Okay, Benny, pull." Benny pulled the car out of the ditch. The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times. The farmer said, "Oh, Benny is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling he wouldn't even try."
Strange but true horse laws
It's illegal in Marion, South Carolina, to tickle a female under her chin with a feather duster to get her attention while she's riding a horse.
It is illegal to fish from horseback in Washington D.C, Colorado, and Utah.
Tennessee prohibits riders from lassoing fish.
In Guernee, Illinois, it is illegal for women weighing more than 200 pounds to ride horses in shorts.
In Kentucky, it is illegal for a woman to appear in a bathing suit on a highway unless she is:escorted by at least two police officers; armed with a club; or lighter than 90 pounds or heavier than 200 pounds. The ordinance also specifically exempts female horses from such restrictions.
In London, England, law required taxi drivers to carry a bale of hay on top of their caps to feed their horses. The law was in force until 1976.
Pennsylvania law states: ``Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart, piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes.''
in south carolina horses are not allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.
Marshalltown, Iowa, it is against the law for a horse to eat a fire hydrant.
Abilene, Kansas, City Ordinance 349 declares: "Any person who shall in the city of Abilene shoot at a horse with any concealed or unconcealed bean snapper or like article, shall upon conviction, be fined."
i really have to teach Nikita to stop eating those firehydrents
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.
What type of animal has more hands than feet?
-Why a horse of course
How long should a horses legs be?
-Long enough to reach the ground
where do horses stay in a hotel?
-In the bridal suit
When do vampires like horseback riding
-When its neck and neck
There was a famous jockey that never lost a race. When asked how he achieved this, he replied, I whisper in the horse's ear: Roses are red, violets are blue. Horses that lose are made into glue.
^Sad and mean!!!
What does it mean if you find a horse shoe?
-some poor horse is walking around in his socks
What breed of horse can jump higher than a house?
-all breeds…houses don’t jump.
A man rode out to town on June 3rd, stayed a week and left on june 3rd. How is this possible?
-His horses name was “june 3rd”
An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny. The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the man's car bumper. Then he yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull." Benny didn't move. Then he yelled, "Come on, pull Ranger." Still, Benny didn't move. Then he yelled really loud, "Now pull, Fred, pull hard." Benny just stood. Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Okay, Benny, pull." Benny pulled the car out of the ditch. The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times. The farmer said, "Oh, Benny is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling he wouldn't even try."
Strange but true horse laws
It's illegal in Marion, South Carolina, to tickle a female under her chin with a feather duster to get her attention while she's riding a horse.
It is illegal to fish from horseback in Washington D.C, Colorado, and Utah.
Tennessee prohibits riders from lassoing fish.
In Guernee, Illinois, it is illegal for women weighing more than 200 pounds to ride horses in shorts.
In Kentucky, it is illegal for a woman to appear in a bathing suit on a highway unless she is:escorted by at least two police officers; armed with a club; or lighter than 90 pounds or heavier than 200 pounds. The ordinance also specifically exempts female horses from such restrictions.
In London, England, law required taxi drivers to carry a bale of hay on top of their caps to feed their horses. The law was in force until 1976.
Pennsylvania law states: ``Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart, piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes.''
in south carolina horses are not allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.
Marshalltown, Iowa, it is against the law for a horse to eat a fire hydrant.
Abilene, Kansas, City Ordinance 349 declares: "Any person who shall in the city of Abilene shoot at a horse with any concealed or unconcealed bean snapper or like article, shall upon conviction, be fined."
i really have to teach Nikita to stop eating those firehydrents
