Cutting/Self-Mutilation...

[hidenseeker424]

I'm just curious about what you all think about cutting and self-mutilation, attempted suicide included. I just found out three of my best friends cut and tried to kill themselves numerous times. I would never have the guts to do any of that, but I've certainly been depressed enough...

[Jay]

I think its kind of wussy. Of course, Im a really happy person, I've never experienced that type of pain. I just think 50% of the time its a kid looking for attention...its also kind of self centered...trying to leave this world w/o thinking about all the people that will be so upset by it. But like I said- I'm a happy person.

[razzyjazzy]

m, everyone gets depressed at times....even i do, but for the most part im a happy and giddy person!! im really bubbly n all that, so i've never felt like i wanted to kill myself or cut myself....i have tons goin for my life right now. I know people with depression and they will be really happy and stuff one day then the next day they hardly even talk and if they do its about killing themselves or how much of a "bad" person they are or how "dumb" they are when really they are like 4.0 students in honors classes....and im like yea your not dumb, if your dumb....im brainless. (i for sure dont get a 4.0 lol) but yes, im happy with myself and who i am.....i mean hello, its JAY!!! haha jk

[showgurl19]

I would never cut myself or try to kill myself even in like the worst times! I think that jumping off of a bridge would be the worst way to commit suicide because what if you jump and then you regret it and like you change your mind you obviously cant turn back so you just have to think about it the whole way down and hope a miracle happens and you like land in a really deep body of water or something like that.

[Rebecca]

hmm, I've never cut or tried to commit suicide. I'm totaly against suicide. It's like the easy way out, but like Gaby said, they don't think about all of the people they are leaving.

[&megan;]

*cue sarcasm*
cutting yourself is hot shit
*end of sarcasm*

I personally think cutting is pointless. I've been down that road before and it wasn't a happy trail. It doesn't relieve pain, it creates more.

[paintbabylover0518]

2 years ago i was suicidal, I did A LOt of drugs and tried breaking into my dads gun cabnits. I hated myself and cut.. all the time. I still have my scars, but i did it on my legs. I tried to OD a couple of times, and find ways to kill myself. But im better now. I went to counseling and got help

[celina]

well, i think its not god, but some people cant help it, it just happends, one of my close friends does.

[Jessi!]

Well I am very open about my past.. and I admit that I was an idiot.. I suffer from depression. Whatever, people get the wrong idea... and so many times people have told me to just "snap out of it" but they don't realize that it's not me.. Depression is a disease it's not just an emotion.. It's something that you feel every day, every minute.. I take zoloft for it now. However, when I was untreated shit was baddd... first of all, my dad is a complete ass and I have an unstable home environment.. So anyway, I became EXTREMELY depressed.. I didn't know I had depression.. and honestly.. I didn't care cause I was so depressed.. People just didn't realize and neither did I .. nothing mattered and I was in a complete slump.. NOTHING at all made me happy.. I can't even explain how I felt.. I used to think EVERYONE hated me.. I pretty much fucked up.. Anyway, I started cutting.. a lot.. and it wasn't for a pity party.. I was extremely depressed, had a lack of control, and this was the only way to make me feel okay.. anyway, it's an addiction.. I also had a severe eating disorder.. I was hospitalized in the psych ward of LIJ hospital a couple of times for both.. which was effing scary shit.. I'm sorry but I can NEVER go back there.. I was effing crying in there and I couldn't take it.. Anyway, when I was allowed to leave the hospital I had to see my nurse practitioner once a week, my therapist once a week, my psychiatrist once a week, and my nutritionist once a week.. they all had to report to the hospital.. and my school was watching me like a hawk (my school was how people found out about the whole thing) I wasn't permitted to go the bathroom unless I had an escort (yeah, that pissed me off like shit), my arms were checked by the school psychologist and nurse, I HAD to speak with someone like once a day, and someone had to sit with me at lunch and watch me eat.. If I didn't follow these rules strictly, I went back to the hospital.. Anyway, I'm not like that anymore.. and there is a buttload I'm not telling you because well #1 it's hard to think about what I went through #2 It would take a long time to say what I went through, etc. I tried to kill myself a number of times.. I knew that I wanted to die so everyday I wrote a few letters to my friends and family members.. I wanted them to know that it wasn't them, but it was my dad, my life.. and just everything that made me do it.. I remember once I was sitting in my window ready to jump.. and then my mom came home so I couldn't.. but I always think.. what if I did? I mean, I probably wouldn't have died.. but I could have suffered brain damage, etc. Anyway, long story short it was my 8th grade english teacher, along with a few other teachers (I was very close with them all) who found out.. I told my english teacher.. I wrote her a goodbye letter.. and then one day she found it and I was like "please don't tell" and of course she did.. but yeah that was a good thing

But yeah, I've been there.. and occasionally when things get bitchy and I get bad I get the urge again to cut.. but I don't.. I promised God I wouldn't. But it's an addiction like anything else.. the last time I tried anything was over the summer.. about August? maybe July.. I burned myself with an icecube/salt... It was at camp and I burned myself down pretty bad.. ugh. But yeah.. there are gunna be relapses just like anything.. I'm just proud of who I am now.. I'm so proud of myself for overcoming this. It's just my "dad" that makes it hard to deal with from day to day..


Having gone through that shit, my thoughts are probably skewed a little. However, I believe that people who cut to be "cool" or "emo" are just idiots.. I know people in my own town who do that/have done that.. Which pisses me off SO MUCH. Because they don't get what it's like to be so helpless, and so down that you have to do that to make the pain just a little better.. However, people who have depression,etc. and do that.. well that's a whole other story. They should be given adequate care and it should be cared for just like any other addiction. Hell, when I was going through it I HATED all the doctors.. I felt terrible.. but it worked and now I'm a strong person.


If you know some of your friends are cutting.. I really hope you're doing something about it.. TELL SOMEONE. You cannot let them go down that road because it does get hard.. Seriously, all the records come back to haunt you in your future.. that's if they survive it.

[Jay]

what a novel, jessi! Haha, but its good to have another perspective.

[Jessi!]

Damn I just realized how much I wrote! lmao!

[celina]

aww jessi im sorry. im sorry you had to go threw all that!

[Gina-ba-beena]

Woahhhh Jessi I didn't know you had all that wrong. I knew you were depressed, but I didn't know you were suicidal and what not, I'm really sorry, but I'm so happy you are who you are now.
I'm in general a happy person. I'll get ticked off, but it lasts a little bit, then I talk to one of my friends or go see Dylan, and it's all better

[Cassandra]

I've never done it. I get really depressed and think about it sometimes but I would never do it

[Gina-ba-beena]

^^Yeah, same. Like, I've fallen into "beulemia episodes" when I think I'm fat and will throw up in my closet. I've never had counseling or anything for it, but I'll do it like, once every 4 months, so it's not like it's a normal thing. I know it's not healthy, but it's not like I'm throwing up after every meal..